Future Story: Xbox 8 II

This is a fictional story from the future that nobody should take seriously (as if you couldn’t tell).

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Holidayuary 8, 2013

In hopes of putting the infamous red ring of death behind them, Microsoft shifted all of its focus from the Xbox 360 to the Xbox 8, and we’re encountering déjà vu. Like the Xbox 360, there are early reports of faulty consoles.

Sony message boards are flooded with complaints. “I haven’t touched an Xbox 8, but I’m reporting a faulty console to Microsoft,” said Overthetop Sonyfan. “This should help them see an accurate reading of just how bad their hardware has been designed.”

“We are estimating a 110% failure rate,” said a Sony spokeshumanoid. “We will be using this undeniable fact to help promote the PlayStation 4 when it is launched after we delay it. The PlayStation 4 will be a whopping 0.1% more powerful by our estimates and only cost twice as much as Microsoft’s latest monstrosity.”

Microsoft has refused to reveal their early failure rate. They insist that they are waiting to collect data before providing estimates. Meanwhile, Sony has guaranteed that their console will see a failure rate of less than 110%.