Paradoxes, etc.

Periodically, I need to just vent. I have decided to put together several posts for that very reason. I'm not just pushing myself to open up, but I'm actually willing to go beyond what I really think on a number of issues. This is one of these posts. Expect this to turn out as an incomprehensible irrational rant.

Did you know there are some people who think I am intelligent? Personally, I try to avoid that label. There are a lot of intellectual stereotypes that I definitely don't fit. For example, I haven't wasted my life memorizing facts that are only of use in a trivia game. In all honesty, I am not impressed with the mental ability of people who are good at regurgitating facts that they have absorbed from others. Mindless trivia is a weak spot for me, and a reason to avoid referring to myself as intelligent. Simply put, I'm not mindless enough to be labeled as intelligent.

I used to let these stereotypes get to me. I wanted to be thought of as intelligent, so I mindlessly accepted the narrative that I wasn't supposed to be good at sports. I also used to be a good student. I now refer to that phase of my life as my stupid years.

I eventually came to my senses. Instead of mindlessly accepting narratives, I started thinking for myself. This killed my GPA. I also partially restored my desire to learn, which was severely damaged by the schools. I know I'm not the only one who was harmed by that environment. Public education has got to be the biggest threat to the education of the public.

Let me clarify something for anyone who has dealt with me in recent years. I'm not really stupid. I only pretend to be to convince people that I'm not. We are living in an era of mindless conformity. If people find out I can think, they will view me as mentally weak. They will look down on me for not knowing what we are expected to mindlessly accept as fact.

This leads me to another form of pretending that has become a part of my life. I am a good guy who appears to be a bad guy pretending to be a bad guy who appears to be a good guy. Do you know what that makes me? A bad guy. This is because I have been knowingly doing wrong out of concern for being perceived as doing wrong. I don't want to be a bad guy, but this is not easy to overcome. If I ever stop living my life as one of the bad guys, society will absolutely villainize me.

I did earn my high school diploma, but that piece of paper completely misrepresents who I am. I am not just another schooling-certified mindless drone. I am an individual. I'm incapable of living my life as a mindless drone, but that's all I'm qualified to do.

Just to survive, I have to betray myself. This is leading to high levels of stress that has built up to dangerous levels. For the sake of survival, I have been living a lifestyle that is slowly killing me.

We call this the land of the free. In reality, I have to live the life of someone I hate just to survive. I have very little say in my own life. The land of the free is essentially a conform-or-die nation.

Perhaps this country had freedom in the past. We have clearly been regressing in recent years. I think it's pretty clear who deserves the bulk of the blame for our extensive regression, the progressive wing of the Democratic party.

In all fairness, I have to be missing something. Although we frequently refer to modern times as the information age, information is usually controlled by politically motivated sources that can't be trusted. It's nearly impossible to be properly informed in the information age.