Dear evil fireball of death,
Your excessive time spent in the Evergreen State is an unwelcome nuisance. Your home is in Calivermia. Please return as soon as possible, and leave us alone.
The Washingtonian way of life embraces the great outdoors. True Washingtonians have no problems with showers. The weather that you create forces some of us to pursue salvation in shade or, if available, air-conditioning. If we can't evade your presence, we burn. You are doing our state far more harm than good. Vacate our state, and don't come back.
Sincerely,
Jason Taylor
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