The NHL’s impact on my mental health

I have a lot of problems in my life. Since I haven’t conformed to socially acceptable standards, nobody is willing to accept me for who I really am. To avoid significant mistreatment by others, I pretend to be someone that I hate. There have been times when I have tried to revert back to the better me. This is always followed by significant mistreatment that pushes me back to being that person that I hate. Ultimately, I feel that society’s ultra-conformity is taking away my right to be myself. My life is controlled by others.

I have used hockey as an escape. It’s a distraction from my uncomfortable life. It’s also something that is out of my control. Considering how I feel like I have no control over my own life, turning to the actions of hockey players as an escape is probably not the smartest thing that I have been doing in recent years.

Some things have definitely changed. When the NHL cancelled the 2004-05 due to commissioner arrogance, there were concerns that the loss could have a negative impact on my mental health. Since then, I have cut back on my viewing. Why? Because the game has deteriorated to the point that watching too much hockey has created mental health concerns. Right now, I would welcome a lockout. It wouldn’t cause any more mental health problems than seeing what the NHL has become.

Even with the deterioration of the NHL, I put significant emotional investments into the league. Since I have forced myself to cut back to a single team, I have a 1 in 30 chance each year of a positive outcome and a 29 in 30 chance each year of a devastating outcome. I hope that the Canucks can appreciate just how much I have sacrificed emotionally for their club.