<irrational>
The Boston Bruins just won the Stanley Cup having played two NHL-caliber periods in the series and being undeniably outplayed in six out of seven games. The team played the same style of hockey that made me despise the Chicago Blackhawks. They stood around sixty minutes doing nothing in hopes that the puck would miraculously wind up behind Roberto Luongo. Thanks to the league deciding that Vancouver is bad for their target audience in the northeast (I have already discussed the media’s blatant and inexcusable bias in a more rational post), they clearly rigged the arenas so that every single bounce would go in favor of the evil Campbells… I mean Bruins. In game 1, Patrice Bergeron rammed his finger in Alexandre Burrows’ mouth and pretty much forced him to bite down? Why? It’s because they could use this to sway the public in favor of the highly marketable team whose namesake is known for its cowardice. In game 3, Rome delivered a late hit that we have seen a million times before. It has never resulted in a suspension and rarely resulted in injuries. Since it resulted in an exaggerated concussion, Mike Murphy created a temporary rule that stated that illegal hits resulting in severe injuries would result in unprecedented discipline. That rule was rescinded in game 6 when Boychuck spun around Mason Raymond, used a can opener to make him vulnerable and slammed him as hard as humanly possible purely for the sake of proving that he is almost as evil as a teacher. After game 5, Roberto Luongo complimented Tim Thomas and mentioned that their styles were different. The media (once again, I have already criticized the American media and its incredible intolerance for anyone and anything outside of the northleast) actually convinced the overly gullible Bostonians that he had insulted Thomas. Throughout the series, the league portrayed the Canucks as ten times worse than any team ever when it comes to embellishment. Henrik Sedin was one of the villainized. Every single time he went down, he had to stretch his leg. Its pretty clear that he was suffering through an injury and it wasn’t taking much to knock him over. Regardless, he never got the benefit of the doubt. Every time that he went down, he had to be embellishing. Even with Henrik’s injury and lack of size, the 7’2” monster known as Zdeno Chara was just as easy to knock down in the series. He never raised any suspicions. Of course, the worst dive of the series was clearly Tim Thomas in game 1. He was touched on the leg and dove ten feet a full second later in an attempt to draw a penalty. He also failed to raise suspicions. Overall, the diving from the filthier team made the Canucks look immovable. Like I said earlier, I honestly believe that the Canucks outplayed the Bruins in six out of seven. The scores are a little misleading, but take a look at the final game. Nobody is going to question who deserved that game. The Canucks more than doubled the Bruins in shots and more than tripled them in decent scoring chances. Perhaps if Tim Thomas didn’t try to kill everyone who came within ten feet of the crease, they could have done a better job of putting the puck past him. Regardless, how did the Bruins manage to score four goals on zero shots? The Bruins had no right being in that game, and even their fans have to admit that they were lucky not to lose 858 to –1. What’s annoying about these fluky wins by the Bruins has to do with the arguments about heart. Yeah, standing around doing nothing in game seven hoping for the puck to bounce into the net shows heart. Every second from the opening faceoff to the final buzzer was dominated by the Canucks. And how is it not showing heart to keep playing out a definitively rigged game? Give me break. How about class? Bruins fans were cheering for Mason Raymond’s injury just days after the Canucks were tapping their sticks on the ice in support of Horton. Their players had been taunting all 20 injured Canucks, sometimes immediately after the incident. The fans are even worse. After Horton was injured, numerous people started openly plotting murders on message boards for revenge. Stay classy guys. The bottom line here is that the Stanley Cup is tainted… two years in a row. The league needs to stop injecting skill into the game so that the skill can finally return. All of this nonsense about playing hockey is unworthy of the Stanley Cup is a joke. Of course, they may be right. The Canucks are just too good to lift this tainted piece of silver. This can only be backed by the stats that I gathered last year that shows a direct inverse relationship between outplaying teams and winning games. The Canucks should just split off and form their own league so that there will once again be a legitimate hockey championship in North America. We can only have hockey if we have hockey from three primary evils of the hockey world, Mr. Bettman (“screw the existing fans, there aren’t enough of them.”) Campbell (“There is nothing wrong with the dartboard of discipline.” , and Murphy (“It was a distinct kicking motion because it was not a distinct kicking motion. Oh yeah, and I will go ahead and look for ways to make the dartboard of discipline even more flawed.”). We also need to bring and end to the hockey gods AKA the hockey devils. The Canucks did nothing and still wound up on the hockey gods’ bad sides. The outcome is proof of that. There is no way that the Bruins could have possibly won that series without divine intervention.
</irrational>
<rational>
Am I a sore loser? Let’s see. I have numerous problems in life. The possibility of the Canucks winning the Stanley Cup is pretty much the only thing that I have had going for me. I invested my emotions heavily in their performance. I would have to lie to myself to say that I am handling the loss well. That said, at least I can admit it. At least I have enough control over myself to understand how I am being affected.
Lately, I have really struggled to sleep after losses. To get the rest that I need and to maintain my mental health, I felt that I had to clear my mind. That’s why I posted the irrational comments above. Rather than hold back, I tried to exaggerate. This does two things. First, it reduces the emotions that I have bottled up in comparison with trying to get my facts straight. Second, it makes my post absurd enough that people might not take it too seriously.
It may seem strange, but I honestly feel that going harder after the Bruins could take the edge off of my comments. Instead of people criticizing me for being out of line, people are less likely to take me too seriously. I have also made sure NOT to do any editing (expect spelling and grammatical errors) and refused to create any flow. It’s not just some strange coincidence that everything is in one paragraph.
Personally, I think this is working. I’m already starting to calm down. If anyone reads this, please don’t take it too seriously. Also, please don’t use this as a valid representation of others. My comments in no way reflect the Vancouver Canucks or their fan base. In fact, they don’t even properly reflect who I am.
Although I am posting this rant publicly, please don’t kick me while I’m down. I am still upset about this outcome, but at least my head is clearing. I don’t want to cloud up again.
</rational>
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