My views on umbrellas

In Washington, there are a lot of jokes about people who carry umbrellas. Most of these jokes are based off of the idea that people who use umbrellas must be tourists. As more and more rain intolerant people from out of state have taken over, the stigma has eased.


I have a confession to make. I do occasionally use an umbrella myself. Of course, my reasoning is different from most people.

On multiple occasions, I have had people stop in the middle of the road to provide me with help when I have not needed it. Some have tried to get me in their cars because they felt that it was too wet to walk. Others have given me umbrellas to help keep me dry.

I kind of enjoy the rain, although I honestly prefer drizzle to downpours. Do you know what I don't enjoy? Umbrellas. The issue is that there are things that I enjoy less than umbrellas. One of these things is dealing with people who want to help me when I don't need help.

I have owned several umbrellas over the years, but I have never purchased one. They were all given to me. I hate getting these unnecessary handouts. It seems to me that the best way to keep people from shoving an umbrella into my hand is to show that I don't need one. How do I do that? By using an umbrella that had been given.

I don't use an umbrella to avoid the rain. I use an umbrella to avoid people. It's just too bad that this has become necessary.