I really should stop watching sports

I have long insisted that we should all strive to evolve as individuals. For various reasons, I have not been following my own advice. This includes problems that I have with the response to change. As one of my many self-evaluations, I have decided to look into what kinds of changes I really should make in my life. Unfortunately, obstacles will likely be too much for me to overcome.

I know I have mentioned this before, but it probably should be included in my "I really should" series. I have been known to watch sports as a distraction from my problems. Among my biggest problems is that I lack control over my own life. Do you know what else I can't control? Sports.

I have a history of over investing emotionally into sports. High points can be high. Low points can be excruciating. My situation with NHL hockey has recently improved. With expansion, I decided to embrace a second team to support, although I admittedly feel that the league's mishandling of expansion has unfairly benefited the Kraken. I have gone from a one in thirty chance to support the ultimate winner to one in sixteen. Despite the improvement, it is still highly probable for each season to end in disappointment.

Because I can't control these sports, my disappointment is amplified by a sense of helplessness. Although I try not to show it, it has been devastating to witness losses. This has not been good for my mental health. For this reason, I probably should stop watching.

Unlike most of the changes I have suggested, I have actually taken action on this one. I have cut back on the number of games I watch. If a team I support can be eliminated from contention, I will not watch. Those games can be especially devastating, and the odds of feeling good are no match for the consequences of a loss. In the last hockey season, I didn't watch a single regular-season game. Despite all of that, it's a certainty that I will cave and watch numerous feel-bad games in the future.

Playing sports could potentially fill the void. This would require openness to losses in which I feel a sense of personal responsibility, but that should be an improvement. Feeling like I can do something to reduce the odds of losing should be easier for me to handle than feeling completely helpless.

I'm not in the best shape, and I am a complete stranger to participating in sports. For the foreseeable future, playing sports is not a viable approach to filling the void of watching less sports. I don't think I have it in me to stop watching, but at least I know that I'm capable of cutting back.

Things would be so much different if I could ever find a way to have an actual life. Watching sports would no longer be used as a distraction from my life. I wouldn't have any reason to over invest emotionally. There would be no reason for me to fear the consequences of watching. I know that an individual having a life in the overly conformist United States is unrealistic, but is it so wrong to dream?